Does this tail make my ass look fat?

Summer is not the time to consider going full bush.

What do you say we go out on a date? Have some chicken, maybe some sex… You know, see what happens.

I drink to make other people interesting.

“Just don’t get it in my eye.”

All my homies are either dead or locked down.

Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed.

In honor of Memorial Day, I hope I have no memory of this outfit.

Everytime we come here you have an ex here.

themarmalade:

dogs-looking-like-people:

I have said “that’s the wrong hole” for the last time!

I can tell already that my life will be an endless blur of cute outfits and flashing cameras.

I’m like Paris Hilton minus the sex tape…

…yet.